You should know that writing is one of my greatest fears! My second fear is exposing myself, but it is something that seems to come pretty easy aside from my internal thought wars! Summer is here and I have to admit that I have been obsessing about the bathing suite. I always laugh and tell people months leading up to summer that I am preparing for my unveiling. I usually miss my own personal mark. I have one sweet friend who hasn't missed any marks for her unveiling this summer. She is one of those girls you could look at all day long. I mean she is striking! Before I go on about the outer package I have to tell you that she is equally beautiful on the inside! (drats! just kidding) She is truly lovely and I have been beyond blessed by her friendship. So what's the deal with "tangled beauty?" I think I may have gotten tangled up in her beauty. By default I was wishing I could reach that level of awesomeness. I started feeling frustrated about the change purse I carry around on my belly and the lack of something up top. How does this happen so fast? How can we be walking along and then slip so suddenly? I guess the best news is that I am having a bible study at my house this summer. Beth Moore's ~So Long Insecurity...you've been a bad friend to us. I will be sure to let you all know the secrets we unlock to loosing our insecurities. I know this thought process is a waste of time and may seem pretty shallow to you. I guess in many ways maybe it is, but I also think I have a thought closet full of lies and many I believe. How do you change those thoughts? I often feel stupid in my writing skills. I never did well in school when it came to writing papers. Teachers often drew red lines through my work and sometimes rewrote it for me. I just can't help but feel stupid deep down inside. Sounds like I am tangled pretty bad! I am! I have to say that I am pretty good and tossing myself overboard:) Does anybody want to join me or are you already out there? We need a lifesaver!!! HELLO God! Amen!
I often cheat and read the next days devotional. June 5th seemed to match up nicely. This is from Jesus Calling Devotional by Sarah Young:
"REMEMBER THAT YOU LIVE IN a fallen world: an abnormal world tainted by sin. Much frustration and failure result from your seeking perfection in this life. There is nothing perfect in this world except Me. That is why closeness to Me satisfies deep yearnings and fills you with Joy. I have planted longing for perfection in every human heart. This is a good desire, which I alone can fulfill. But most people seek this fulfillment in other people and earthly pleasures or achievements. Thus they create idols, before which they bow down. I will have no other gods before Me! Make Me the deepest desire of your heart. Let Me fulfill your yearning for perfection." Exodus 20:3; Psalm 37:4
AWESOME!!! Perfect right! God is always eager to fill us with His truth and wisdom! I know perfection is probably at the center of my frustration. I can't stand it when I don't get it "right." I am a giant weenie! The consumption of WASTE must come to an end for me:) The time is here and now for all of us to throw ourselves overboard for God! I will see you when you make a SPLASH!!!!
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